I'm still but a man
by alwayslovingsummertime
Summary: L is undeniably one of the most intelligent men ever to live. Yet he still, feels like he can't escape the basic needs of humankind. To add fuel to the fire an old friend serves as a good reminder of how hard it can be, to resist the needs when they have been denied for so long. L X OC.
1. The Freak

I'M STILL BUT A MAN

Chapter 1

It was a bright morning in the lively city of Hong Kong. On the Lantau Island, where a coffee shop, that had become quite the speak in last few months was located, unnatural amount of girls and ladies were up and about.

The girls, that usually favoured the coffee shop, had noticed a man coming for a take-out order almost every morning. He looked like a foreigner, which in itself was nothing unusual, Lantau Island was, after all, popular among Americans, Brits and Scandinavians among other people.

So the man himself, was the reason for all the buzz. He always had the same white shirt and the same worn jeans on. He had white sneakers on his feet, and the most sharp-eyed girls noticed that he did not wear socks. Who on Earth didn't wear socks in their sneakers? The man had black untidy, longish hair and a stoic face. The only time he seemed relatively happy with anything, was when he recieved his take-away pastries. What made the girls, that grew accustomed to this weird visitor, squeal was that he always came alone. And the lady-population of Hong Kong had decided that this mystery man was quite the catch.

This morning the cafe was unusually full, so when the dark-haired man came, the athmosphere was tangible.

"He's so weird that he must be rich!" one of the girls whispered to her friend, who in turn frowned. "He's such a freak." The friend answered. And that's how L Lawliet, the world's most succesful detective, got his new nickname.


	2. Change of habit

I'M STILL BUT A MAN

*I unfortunately, do not own Death Note. All the rights belong to the respective owners.*

Chapter 2

L sat in a cafe near the hotel he had been staying in. As usual, it was very early, too early for most of the people to be awake yet. That was how he liked Hong Kong the best. When the first people appeared to the yards and parks for their every morning taichi routine and when the birds could still be heard over the sound of traffic.

This particular morning he had left Lantau Island in favor of a quiet and classy cafe at the heart of the city. Why would he change the routine he had aquired? It was simple the detective had a meeting. Nothing like any other meeting he had ever been in. This was a meeting he had dreaded and dreamt of for two weeks. He was waiting for a lady, a friend.

It had been a long time since he had last seen her. Two years to be exact. She was going to help him catch some money-laundering villains, well technically they were businessmen. The case wasn't too hard for L, yet he felt the beginnings of panic when he was thinking about the plan. The whispers in his head that told him he was getting involved on a level that should be avoided. But of course, justice should prevail. Nothing would change that.


	3. False deduction

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 3_

The blood in the detective's veins was burning. The anticipation, L usually experienced when he had once again been right about certain people, pulsed through his system. Yet this time, there was no logical reason for it. None what so ever, nothing murder-related. Still this meeting was all he had been able to think about in the last two weeks. Ever since he had heard she was in Hong Kong he had been fidgety and prone to spacing out in middle of something important. Everyone had noticed his unusual behaviour. Only Watari had known the reason.

Watari knew everything. He had known from the very beginning, even without the detective saying anything. L trusted Watari. After all he was like the father the detective had never had.

Watari had told him she was in town.

Watari had told him to meet up with her.

Watari had made him promise not to let her leave without a goodbye this time.

Watari had known how it had broken him the last time.

And by God, the distance between the detective and her had been killing him slowly. And because of that he couldn't bear to stop to think about her often. L took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This wasn't supposed to happen. There had been no percentage on him feeling...anything. It wasn't supposed to happen. But the world's three top detectives was no fool. While the mayhem of feelings coursing inside of him was not predicted, that did not mean it wasn't real. L wasn't going to deny the fact.

The obsession had been burning since day one. When he had first met her, he had thought nothing of it. She hadn't appeared to be anything special.

What a false deduction that had been!

She was intelligent but not geniously so, she was pretty as a summer day and strong as bedrock. And damn he wanted to rock her on a bed. He prayed to every god he could remember to give him strength not to reveal his feelings, his inner battle, the burning, all-consuming need to touch her. To tell her everything and confess his weaknesses and needs. Because L didn't think that rejection would sit well with him. He had never been a good loser. And while this wasn't the game of catching criminal masterminds, it did have possibility of losing, losing her acquaintance, her caring for him, losing...her.

Her brightness and darkness in perfect but fragile balance enticed him like nothing else. He knew he'd never be able to understand how the entirety that was her worked. It was like the forbidden fruit. And he loved fruits. She loved mangos and bananas.

*Thank you very much for reading this ^^. Please let me know what you think:) *

All the best

-alwayslovingsummertime.


	4. The Meeting

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 4_

She sat down opposite of the detective and smiled. It was dazzling. Last time he had seen her she had been tired and lonely and stressed. Now she was stunning. Her presence didn't go unnoticed by anyone. Many whispered. _Why is she with our Freak? Are they dating?_

_Isn't he that dude that always is at the cake shop on Lantau? Isn't that Yu Ri?_

L offered her the espresso-double-shot that she usually had for breakfast. It was ridiculously early for her to be awake so he knew she wanted one. She smiled her thanks.

Then he saw it in her smile.

Under the façade she held up, was the mess he had come to know as her. Her smile didn't quite reach the eyes. It rarely ever did for she was broken, seemed to be broken beyond repair. It hurt him every time he saw it, yet he had no way to fix it. He told himself it shouldn't hurt. They sat without saying anything at first.

"How are you?" She asked and smiled gently. Yu Ri had never been one for long periods of silence. "I'm good, better. And you?" L asked and gave her a shy smile. He didn't smile that much and it felt weird, but he couldn't help it. Happiness was unavoidable. Her smile faltered for a moment, but then the lady smiled more brilliantly than ever before and answered: "I'm better." L felt the need to hold her hand, to hold her. He knew the pain was great. But she seemed to be healing. She seemed happy. And out of pure selfishness he wished it wasn't because of another man.


	5. Expensive

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 5_

Watari heard the door open and was greeted with a goofy smile of Yu Ri. "Watari, how do you do." She said and shook hands with the old man. "How do you do." Watari anwered the greeting happily. L sauntered through the door, "Yu Ri is going to stay with us." he announced and went straight into his bedroom.

Watari and Yu Ri sat at the kitchen table. Their chatter lit up the athmosphere of the whole suite. L sat on the couch and chewed on his thumbnail. The plan was coming along smoothly. Yu Ri was supposed to work in the corporation which CEO was the mainsuspect. She was supposed to get friendly with the bosses, gain acces to the bank-accounts and evidence of moneylaundry. A lady like her would easily be trusted with the secrets. However, if she got involved with the bad guys there was always a possibility that she'd fall in love them and betray him. That was not preferable. Yet, the risk remained as high as 40,49 percent.

L sat at the windowsill of his bedroom window. He had worked there for hours while Yu Ri had studied. She was a student in the University of London, majoring in business. After nearly falling out of the bed, when she fell asleep while reading, she asked if the detective wanted her to leave the light on because she was going to stop for the night. L smiled a bit. "_**Darkness sooths me**._" His voice had Yu Ri looking his way. The look in her eyes was dark and powerfull. The meanings behind his statement were noted with a dark look. Then she turned away sharply almost angrily and turned off the lights.

He watched her that night. After she had fallen asleep. The amount of trust she put in him was astonishing and it was _wrong_. So very wrong. She shouldn't trust him like this. It wasn't safe. She knew what he was capable of, she knew that he was far from the angel of justice some people thought he was. If only she knew the thoughts he had of her, the fantasies that took him to the brink of insanity.

The next morning he listened as she showered and got ready for work. She pulled out clean underwear from the large handbag that she always carried around. She smiled at him as she slipped back into the bathroom to change. After few minutes she left through the front door. The maid stepped into the bedroom. "Does sir wish me to ready the guest bedroom for the lady?" L looked up at the middle aged kind looking maid. "Yes please." L said in casual manner and strolled into kitchen. "Did she not bring any other luggage than her handbag sir?" The maid asked._ Ahh…_ L thought. She didn't have that much stuff to begin with. Only couple of extra pair of underwear and one set of clothes to change. It struck him as odd to think that a lady of her status lived a life like that. Why would she leave everything else in London?

When they sat at the table that evening he asked her about it. "I don't have anything else, L. I'm broke. All the other clothes I have are ugly, shabby and totally something that I can't wear anywhere public. I can't afford it. I'm working hard but all the earnings go to living. Living in London is not cheap and Hong Kong is not the most affordable city either. " L looked at her for the longest time. "You're bitter about it." He stated. She looked up. "Yes. I don't want to be, but I can't help it. I mean, I don't need luxury, but to live like a rat is no good either. If only I could get some more money or work little harder."

The next morning Yu Ri found her the doors of her new room's walkingcloset were open. The girl tiptoed to the door. From inside the closet humming could be heard. Carefully Yu Ri peeked inside. The maid was humming and arraging a variety of women's clothes. Yu Ri blinked. "Good morning. Ummhh... what are all these clothes?" Yu Ri asked and touched a beautiful dress. It screamed expensive brand. So she took a look. Dior. Holy Goat! That must have cost more than her appartment's rent did! Who could be wearing these clothes? Was she being kicked out all ready?

"The young sir had them bought for you, miss." The maid said smiling and nodded at the tray of food at the trolly she had apparently brought with her. "Now a good day starts with a good breakfast." Yu Ri smiled.


	6. A Phone

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 6_

Time passed fast for Yu Ri. She had settled into a routine of sorts. Her days were busy and nights relaxing but she felt that something was shifting. In the corporation she worked, people slowly started to treat her differently, like she was becoming someone worth of notice.

She had done everything they had asked, hoping that her diligent work and fake smiles would do the trick. **They did.**

She was getting into the inner circles.

They started to trust her. She had passed the test. How she knew? The CEO, he asked her out for a lunch-date.

L was monitoring the cameras of Yu Ri's office. Nothing had happened today, nothing seemed to be leading anywhere. Yet Yu Ri had insisted that she was getting somewhere so he had let her continue her work as was.

_A posh looking man walked into Yu Ri's office. Yu Ri stood up immidiately and bowed. She seemed to be greeting the man with outmost respect, but eyes burning with a hidden promise. The intensity of it had him swallowing even though the camera's quality left lot to hope for. _

_Sometimes the detective wondered where she had learned such acting skills._

_L was sure the man had said something dissarming, because the next moment Yu Ri was smiling so achingly beautifully that L sweared his heart stopped for a second. The conversation was quick and the man scribbled something down on a note and left. _

Yu Ri took out her phone and dialed L.

L, of course saw all this, and aswered at the first ring. "_I'll be leaving the office for luch with the CEO today. The restaurant is the new one that opened up the street few weeks ago._" Her voice came from the other end of the line.

A luch date. She had smiled so brilliantly because she had been asked out. L felt something very unpleasant turning in his stomach. "Do as you must." Came L's clipped tone before he hang up.

Few minutes later Watari came into the room and started to pick up the pieces of the phone from the floor.

*All the best to all of you who read this! I really appreciate that you took the time to read my story:) Please let me know what you think^^*

-alwayslovingsummertime


	7. Tea

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 7_

L sulked. He had been sulking for the past week. It just didn't seem necessary. Yu Ri walzed into the room while putting on earrings and snatched her handbag from the counter. "Make me tea, Yu Ri." L said, his eyes following her movements as she slipped her high-heels on. "L, I'm a bit busy right now. Can't you ask Watari to make you some? Or better yet, make your own tea, you're an grown man!" She huffed frustrated at his immature behaviour but started to boil water anyway. L crunched his nose up. She was wearing her favourite perfume. _His favourite perfume on her. _And all for that **man**. It left a sour taste in his mouth. "I don't think it is necessary for you to go out with the CEO, again." L said his face blank and grey-black irises cold. "What are you on about? Of course it is necessary! I have to get him to trust me." Yu Ri said and poured L a cup. _He trusts you alright._ L thought and took a small sip from his cup. Yu Ri smiled at him and left for her third date with the CEO_. _

L looked sourly at his tea. No matter how many times she went out with undeserving criminals, she still made the best tea.


	8. It could unravel

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 8_

Watari sat in the posh kitchen area of the hotel room with a worried look on his face. L was sitting on the chair opposite of Watari, devouring his fourth cake and he wasn't showing any signs of stopping this unnatural consumption of sugar. The young detective didn't make a sound with his utensils. The room was deathly silent. The sun was shining through the windows onto the detective's face. He looked sour, even after all the sweets. "She should be here by now." He stated to Watari. The old man raised his brows rather surprised. "She's on a date Ruyzaki. Miss Yu is allowed to stay as long as she pleases." The elder gentleman stated calmly. L's head whipped up, his dark gray eyes looking like omnious storm clouds. "She's with a _murderer_, Watari." L's statement came out hate-filled but calm.

Watari looked in the man's eyes. What he saw didn't surprise him, no, it was the intensity of it, that chilled him. The_ raw hatred_, burning in the eyes of L, _Lawliet_. "He could do what ever he wished and she couldn't do a thing to stop him. She's vulnerable like that." L spat clenching his fists. The images of Yu Ri bleeding to death in some dark alley had plagued his mind ever-since she had stepped out the door earlier that day. It put a strain on his nerves, stopped all the brilliance, stopped all the deducting from taking place in his mind. He was not used to this feeling, this chill of uncertainty. There always was a percentage, everything was clear and unclouded by feelings and personal attachment. But no matter how much he wished things would have been different L was not ignorant of what was going on in his mind. He had been aware of it for a long time. He knew exactly why it had been a bad idea to take Yu Ri into the investigation-team... he had been, and still was incredibly attached to her.


	9. He feels her

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter_

Yu Ri walked into the living room and heard a classical piece playing on the stereos all over the hotel apartment. L was standing in front of the windows, his hair was dripping wet and shirt half tucked into his pants. Yu Ri walked next to him. "You didn't go to the dinner." L stated, not lookin away from the view infront of him. "I rarely do with colleagues." "Hmm..." was the only response she got from the strangely well posed man.

Lawliet felt his fury subsiding, the jealousy didn't burn as bright. Yu Ri was home, with him. She hadn't gone out with the man. If she had, she wouldn't be home so early. Maybe he had just made a rushed conclusion. After all, it was not part of the plan for other men than the CEO to ask her out, other young handsome and rich men. There had never before been a moment when he had wished he could interfere and stop the whole investigation than the moment that man had walked into her office with such a seductive smile on his face that L was 100 % sure of his intentions. He couldn't stop the investigation so the next best thing had been eating cake, complaining to Watari and sulking.

He felt better, still a bit shaken but better. That was until he felt warm fingers caresing his sides. Slowly they travelled closer to the edge of his belt that was still unbuckled. L gulped, his brain was trying to catch him. _She's tucking the hem of my shirt in my pants._ He involuntarily closed his eyes and enjoyed the her touch. Enjoyed the feel of those very same fingers he had dreamt of on multiple occasions... doing multiple things, some less innocent than others.

All thoughts ceased to exist when her fingers dipped into his pants. The hem of his shirt prevented most of the skin contact but the second her finger slipped from the fabric and caressed his lowere hipbone he almost lost control. Her back was against the window, her hands above her head and a detective, who at that moment defined the word masculinity, was hovering only few inches away. "You shouldn't touch me so freely. There's no quarantee of what I'll do to a lady like you. You date criminals, I catch them...but I'm still but a man." His deep voice sounded rough with all the things he was holding back. Yu Ri felt a chill. And for the first time she saw Lawliet as he was... With his dreams, his hopes, his hatred, his pain, his loneliness, his needs and his desires.**_ A Man. _**


	10. Home late

**I'm Still But a Man**

_Chapter 10 _

There was clicking of keys. Then Watari heard the door open and one pair of high heels. The other pair of feet didn't make any sound. Soon he saw Yu Ri dragging L who was clinging onto her shoulders. The detective reeked of alcohol and was obviously very drunk. The younger man kept whispering things into Yu Ri's ear in such a low voice that Watari couldn't make out the words. "Oh! I'm sorry Watari. I didn't mean to wake you. " Yu Ri stopped trying to make as little sound as possible. L looked up smiling and waved a cheery hello. "Where'd you find him?" Watari asked and tried to take L off of the lady. L cling onto her harder pressing his nose onto her collarbone, Watari gave up trying. "Shall I make some coffee?" He asked. Yu Ri smiled, old man's proposal making her pleased. "Yes, please." While walking to the kitchen Watari worried if it was a very good idea to leave them together.

L smiled, completely happy with where he was. "Let's get you to bed." Yu Ri sighed. She was tired. She had had long day and when Watari had called her and asked if she knew where L was and if she could try to call him the panic that had consumed her had also consumed the last bits of energy she had had left. L seemed quite happy with her words and actually started walking towards his bedroom. Yu Ri sighed. "I'll run you a bath!" She yelled after the detective.

Yu Ri sat at the edge of the bathtub waiting patiently for it to fill. The bubbles floated around her and the scent of something masculine pleased her nose. She shook her head. Of course L's bathing products wouldn't smell all girly and fruity like hers. He was a man after all, a fact that she had become more and more concious about lately. When they had met for the first time in England, he had been the goofy friend of hers. The fact that the said friend was a man had often slipped her mind. But the more she spent time with him, the more he kept interacting with her...the harder it came to not love his touch, his voice, his scent.

"_You are beautiful_." Husky voice entered her senses, all five of them. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. L was still very much drunk but there was honesty and something in his eyes that made it clear he really thought so. "You, mister, you are drunk." She said smiling and tapped his nose with her finger. "Hmm..." Was the detective's nonchalant reply. He sat down on the chair next to the wall. Yu Ri watched him struggle with his shirt. She couldn't keep herself from smiling when L cursed lightly, his shirt stuck on his head.


End file.
